Nowt2Do Archive: Nowt2Do before Spring 2006 - Nowt2Do.Com: Listings and Reviews for Bristol and Beyond!

Multi award-winner Al Murray – The Pub Landlord, star of Time Gentlemen Please (Sky One/Paramount Comedy) and the acclaimed Live Floor Show (BBC TWO), will hand over the bar to the relief manager and embark on a 60-date National Tour to bring a brand new live show, Giving It Both Barrels to UK this Autumn.

Following massive success with his sell-out first national tour in 2002, with the show Who Dares Wines?, the new tour builds on the success of this and other previous live shows, My Gaff, My Rules and …And A Glass Of White Wine For The Lady!, which picked up prestigious double Olivier Award nomination and a Perrier Award.

Representing decent honest hard working normal tax paying law abiding ordinary people who don’t want to pay their speeding fines, the Guv’nor will be bringing his heady brew of British Thinking and Common Sense Reasoning to venues around the country.

In this year’s show expect the Guv’nor’s vitriol to encompass topics including: The Silent Majority, What Is Love? From Drama To Soap In A Generation: How It Used To Feel To Be British, The Old Gods, What Can We Learn From History?, Q! and Why It’s Time To Bring Back Shame. France may feature, as may Treachery, Backsliding, and Letting Us Down.

The Guv’nor added: “Last year’s tour took me the length and breadth of these fair Isles. On my travels I talked to beautiful British people from all walks of life, as well as some students, and let me tell you I can’t wait to get out there again and dish up further helpings of Common Sense.”

The Pub Landlord will also have a first live DVD/video My Gaff, My Rules released on 24^th November by VVL.

October
St Albans Alban Arena	Thursday 2^ndOctober	01727 844 488
“St Albans, home to the ancient Roman city of Verulanium some 2000 years ago. And that was the last thing that ever happened there.”
Aylesbury Civic Centre	Friday 3^rd October	01296 486 009
“Aylesbury as everyone knows is where Marillion are from. At least everyone in Marillion knows that. I'm not sure if the people of Aylesbury are that bothered.”
Birmingham Alexandra	Saturday 4^th October	0870 607 7535
“Birmingham is a unique city, in that its ring road goes right through the middle of the town. There are those who say this is a shame and a blight on the place, but I think it's brilliant as it makes leaving quicker.”
Bath Theatre Royal	Sunday 5^th October	01225 448 844
“Bath. It used to take 32 hours to get from London to Bath when the city was at its fashionable height, so no wonder you felt better when you got in the water. They invented washing in Bath, but the news couldn't make it 12 miles up the road to Bristol it seems.”
Leeds City Varieties Music Hall	Wednesday 8^th October	08456 441 881
“Leeds is a beautiful city, with its very own Music Hall, the City Varieties. They used to film the Good Old Days there, in the 70s, which were the bad old days. But Leeds has changed - Harvey Nichols?!? Designer knickers in Leeds! this country's changed....”
Stoke-on-Trent Victoria Hall	Friday 10^th October	0870 908 0888
“Robbie Williams did a trial for Stoke didn't he? But for some reason he chose to pursue pop mega stardom instead.”
Reading Concert Hall	Saturday 11^th October	0118 960 6060
“Reading is my favourite town between Slough and Swindon. Neither has an Octagon or whatever it's called. You might be in Reading but the shops are nice - mustn't grumble!”
Blackburn King George's Halls	Sunday 12^th October	01254 582582
“It is true that Blackburn features in the Doomsday Book but it only got 3 stars.”
Billingham Forum Theatre	Monday 13^th October	01642 552 663
“Billingham - I have not been to Billingham, nor have I ever met anyone who has. So I'm not sure I'll be coming back from this gig.”
Swindon Wyvern Theatre	Tuesday 14^th October	01793 524 481
“Swindon is a fantastic city, and you can go where the railway yards of the GWR were and buy yourself a cheap frying pan or pair of trainers as a fitting memorial to the work of Isambard Kingdom Brunel.”
Horsham The Capitol	Wednesday 15^th October	01403 268 689
“Horsham is one of the nicest places called Horsham I've ever been to. I haven't been to Horsham in Devon, or Horsham in Worcestershire, and if they're better I'll be the first to let the people of Horsham West Sussex know.”
Brecon Theatre Brycheiniog	Thursday 16^th October	01874 611 622
“Apparently they're still using beacons in Brecon. Everyone else has got phones for pity's sake.”
Worthing Pavillion Theatre	Friday 17^th October	01903 206 206
“Worthing is a top town that definitely isn't Brighton. It's nothing like Brighton. The people are normal for a start. It's nothing like Brighton.”
Tunbridge Wells Assembly Hall	Saturday 18^th October	01892 530 613
“Tunbridge Wells is in the beer garden of England Kent, where the smell of the hops can be overwhelming. Sounds like heaven to me.”
Southampton Nuffield Theatre	Sunday 19^th October	02380 671 771
“Southampton is a top town - one our great harbours, fish and chips, seagulls, the smell the sewage at high tide.... the theatre's nice.... er....”
Epsom Playhouse	Tuesday 21^st October	01372 742 555
“Some simple advice: if you stop and think about Epsom and how posh it is despite being near Croydon you might well get a nose bleed. So don't even think about, the good people of Epsom don't.”
Buxton Opera House	Wednesday 22^nd October	0845 127 2190
“Buxton, where the mineral water comes from. It's better than the French stuff, so take pride, but it's still mineral water, so not that much pride.”
Brighton The Corn Exchange	Thu 23^rd & Fri 24^th October	01273 709 709
“A beautiful town, though they need to fireproof rather more of it in my opinion.”
Colchester Charter Hall	Saturday 25^th October	01206 282020
“From the ancient ruins in Castle Park to water-filled fun at Leisure World, you'll never be bored in Colchester. Unless you hate ruins and are scared of water that is.”
Cheltenham, Everyman Theatre	Sunday 26^th October	01242 572 573
“I love Cheltenham - and did you know that in 1788 King George III spent five weeks at Cheltenham, drinking the waters for his health’s sake. Then he went mad and his pee turned blue, so I’m staying the night and sticking to beer.”
Dartford The Orchard	Monday 27^th October	01322 22 00 00
“There's more to Dartford than the tunnel, though it says something about a town that its famous feature is underground.”
Huddersfield Town Hall	Thursday 30^th October	01484 223 200
“Huddersfield – most place names sort of make sense – but what in god’s name is a field of Hudders? Sort it out!”
Liverpool Olympia	Friday 31^st October	0151 263 6633
“The warm Scouse welcome we received last year was beautiful, and it’s amazing to learn that each and every cab driver was at school with The Beatles and that XXXX XXXXX XXXXXX XXX XXXX XXXXXX in the cloakroom at The Cavern Club.”

November
Sevenoaks Stag Theatre	Saturday 1^stNovember	01732 450 175
“Sevenoaks – that’s how you name a town – after the plants around it. Though that would mean you had to call where I live Filthy Bush so maybe not.”
York Grand Opera House	Monday 3^rd November	0870 606 3595
“York is the Viking Centre of Great Britain, though someone really should point out that the Vikings have gone now and the good people of York can get on with their lives.”
Bolton Albert Halls	Tue 4^th & Wed 5^th November	01204 334 400
“There aren’t words to describe the excitement that goes with playing two nights in Bolton… it’s almost as thrilling as the Badminton Final of the Commonwealth Games they had there last year…”
Telford Oakengates Theatre	Thursday 6^th November	01952 619 020
“I can’t wait to go to Telford again – with any luck the same bunch of teachers will be in the front row and I can tell them over and over again easy exams are these days.”
Bromley Churchill Theatre	Friday 7^th November	0870 060 6620
“Bromley: what can I say – you named the theatre after Churchill…”
Catford Broadway Theatre	Saturday 8^th November	020 8690 0002
“South East London is my spiritual homeland, which means I don’t have to live there thank Christ.”
Dunfermline Carnegie Hall	Sunday 9^th November	01383 314 000
“I’d always hoped to play the Carnegie Hall, but there seems to have been a mix up as to which one.”
Dundee Repertory Theatre	Monday 10^th November	01382 223530
“Dundee – sat squat beside the river, braving the weather – I salute you! Two fingers mind…”
Hereford The Courtyard	Wednesday 12^th November	01432 359 252
“Hereford – the last bastion, the final outpost before Wales. Keep up the good work.”
Hayes Beck Theatre	Thursday 13^th November	020 8561 8371
“Hayes, Middlesex. Of course these days they fix that with an operation don’t they?”
Harrow Arts Centre	Friday 14^th November	020 8428 0124
“Harrow is famous for its posh school that’s on a hill. That’s right on a hill. You can’t undervalue a good gimmick can you?”
Barnstable Queens Theatre	Saturday 15^th November	01271 324 242
“They say all mankind evolved in Africa – well judging by the audience in Barnstaple last year they are wrong.”
Aberdare Coliseum	Sunday 16^th November	01685 881 188
“The Coliseum in Rome was modelled directly on the Aberdare Coliseum. At least that’s how I prefer to see it.”
Grimsby Auditorium	Wednesday 19^th November	01472 311 300
“Grimsby… the town that gave us Norman Lamont. You cannot expect forgiveness!”
Margate Winter Gardens	Friday 21^st November	01843 292 795
“Margate is famous for its caves of ancient Saxon origin where the men of Margate would go to hide from their wives.”
Cambridge Corn Exchange	Saturday 22^nd November	01223 357 851
“Cambridge is a town of knowledge learning and understanding that for some reason is full of idiot students.”
Felixstowe SPA Pavilion Theatre	Sunday 23^rd November	01394 282 126
“Sadly the historic pier was cut in half during the war to stop the Germans from invading, but let’s face it, they weren’t going to invade Felixstowe were they?”
Leamington SPA Royal Spa Centre	Thursday 27^th November	01926 334 418
“Leamington Spa is the only town in the UK to be sponsored by the well known chain of corner shops and supermarkets.”